2021.10.21 02:39 davodavo499 Rani Mukherjee
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2021.10.21 02:39 burtzev [Myanmar/Burma] Chin resistance fighters destroy half a military convoy amid buildup of junta forces | Myanmar Now
2021.10.21 02:39 011011000110101001 I might never be able to have a kid because of my porn addiction
I feel like putting my story out in the internet today. Never shared this with anyone. I don't know what I'm expecting out of this but here it is.
I'm a product of a dysfunctional family. Lots of trauma in my childhood. My parents were products of abusive systems themselves and they raised me the way they were raised. Beatings, verbal abuse, neglect, bare minimum and otherwise hands-off parenting. Raised by a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father I didn't learn how to deal with negative emotions. No wonder when my friend in 8th grade introduced me to porn I got hooked! Some discover hard drugs or cigarettes. For me it was porn. Those were the days of 128kbps dial-up internet and I would rush home from school to spend a few hours looking at nude pictures. I also grew up in a very repressive and backward society. School was heavily gender segregated. Even exchanging notes with a girl would invite trouble and she would get slut shamed. All in all it was a perfect storm and i took to the new drug like fish to water. Somewhere along the line I developed severe social anxiety. I don't know if it's nature or nurture but SA played a big role in pushing me further into the rabbit hole of porn. This went on until mid-twenties when I migrated to west for college. I thought moving to a different country would change things for the better but it didn't; the die was cast. At the slightest onset of stress I would watch porn, jerk off and feel better. Couldn't figure out how to navigate dating culture - anxiety - go home watch porn. Can't fall asleep - watch porn and sleep in a orgasm induced stupor. Feelings of loneliness - watch porn. Poor grades - watch porn. Flashbacks from childhood - watch porn. It became the anti-anxiety drug that helped in the short run but made things worse with each use. Grades suffered but I managed to find a job anyhow and life continued as a functional addict. By this time I was showing severe ADHD like symptoms. This is the first time I went to a psychiatrist. Not for porn addiction. I still didn't make the connection that porn was pulling the strings. I thought I have ADHD since my mom has similar issues. Maybe I do have a learning disability. Anyway, the doc prescribed slow release Adderall and it shot up my libido like 1000x. I couldn't meet project deadlines without adderall so I took it even though it made my pmo habit worse. I would get my work done by 5p.m rush back home and binge porn until wee hours of morning. I'd beat it until it hurt and even then I'd be horny. By this time I hated myself, my parents, the society and life in general. I would derive no pleasure from anything. Adderall + PMO became everything. One day a thought popped into my head - what if I go to Home Depot, buy a garden hose and connect one end to the tail pipe and another .. you know where this is going. I think this is when I realized I have a serious problem. I think it was just ideation and I never acted on it, but the thought scared me. The next day I flushed the meds down the toilet. Porn addiction continued however.
It wasn't all dark all the time though. There were months when I would exercise, play music and all that but no matter what I did, the porn addiction never quite went away 100%. I should've mustered the courage and gone to a therapist. I was afraid of judgement. Social anxiety and ego made it hard to seek help. This went on for many more years and one day I noticed I don't get as horny as before. My libido had noticeably reduced and started putting on weight easily. I was around 32 by this time and chalked it to getting older. I carried on with life and by this time I had managed to overcome fear of dating (rejection) and I was quite enjoying meeting women. Lost virginity around that time and it became clear that I can't ejaculate. The girls I was dating didn't seem to mind and even liked how long I could stay hard but sex was no fun for me. One day, I met my now wife and we hit it off really well and got married. She'd told me early in the relationship that she didn't want kids so maybe that's why she never bothered with my 'problem'. But now as I'm getting older I feel a pang of guilt as I see other couples with kids. My wife is now approaching 40 and the door is pretty much closed on having a kid. Deep inside I know that it was never going to happen. If you ask me if I want a kid I would say no. That I've never wanted to start a family. It's partly true but it's also because I know I won't be able to. There are times when my wife second guesses herself and wonders if we're making a mistake going childfree. I shrug and tell her we'll be alright but I know it can't be any other way. Growing up not having a father I don't know how to be one. I've gone long periods without pmo but it doesn't seem to reset. The damage feels permanent. We have sex, she finishes I don't and then I watch porn and finish off as she drifts off to sleep.
I haven't mustered the courage to tell her the truth. It'll break her heart. She might never see me the same way again. I want to tell her though and maybe someday I'll work up the courage to tell her everything.
If you have read this far, then I want to thank you. If you're going through a rough time with addiction please seek help and don't try to ride it out alone.
TL;DR: Addiction can fuck up your life.
submitted by 011011000110101001 to PornAddiction [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 02:39 WitheredHorizons Did the latest Imhotep issue get published?
I wonder whether Roy finally got around to publish Imhotep #12, I heard it was due on August.
If it did and any of you have it, would you mind spilling the beans regarding the content?
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2021.10.21 02:39 Swimming_Round_3091 Some Ferraris
2021.10.21 02:39 Appropriate-Dingo733 Penn Badgley as my fancast of Joker. I think he could kill the role, what are your thoughts and pick?
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2021.10.21 02:39 Multinoir_078 Amount of a times a player outplaced quig since he joined mcc
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2021.10.21 02:39 MAFiA_79 Make money with your laptop and browser. Start getting paid while online! 11 apps 📌
2021.10.21 02:39 Austomic Welcome newbies! Learn all the crypto terms, slang, and acronyms here!
Hi there! When I first started trading cryptocurrency I remember being really overwhelmed and confused by all the different terms, slang, and acronyms I saw people, reddit, websites, news articles, etc. using to talk about crypto!
So today I thought I’d try to cover the most commonly used and referred to terms, slang, and acronyms out there, and my hope it that this helps a beginner crypto investor to be able to make the most out of the incredible world of crypto! :)
This list is broken up into three sections:
2021.10.21 02:39 queerfoxprincex 21 t4t4t4t group chat?
hello! im 21, switchy bratty switch and pet looking for anyone who wants to vibe and send n00dz or flirty messages in a group setting! I crave more queer content in my life and I would love to find community in embracing our genderfuckery and transness.
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2021.10.21 02:39 premieregamingent Michigan Football Week 8 Predictions vs Northwestern Take Care Of Busine...
2021.10.21 02:39 After-Pizza7806 🎂 #SquidCake | 8% CAKE Rewards! | 🎯Launched 10 mins ago | 1000x Moonshot!! 🚀
Welcome to #SquidCake, Get in early!!
Amazing CAKE rewards to fill your bags while you hold!!!
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The DEV and team are 100% SAFU and are in it to win it with you!!!
Upcoming marketing moves;
2021.10.21 02:39 brontosauruschuck Apparently, anyone who has ever made a list of demands is a terrorist.
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2021.10.21 02:39 GachaBrian Theory: Dimitri is a Soviet.
As established before, Dimitri has run the prison for fifty years, and the Soviet union has lasted 69 years. Meaning, at some point, his prison might have been a gulag. Especially since the prison seems to be run like one.
This is supported even further by the fact that everyone in said prison is Russian. Now, obviously the Soviet union has been gone for quite some time.
But this means that Dimitri is running an illegal prison. This is supported by the fact the government don't recognize the wall's employees in PP and TP. And why the wall is housing wanted criminals, but the government doesn't know that said criminals are imprisoned. As shown in MBH.
The Wall is a secret organization run by Dimitri for capturing people to boost his own image and reputation.
submitted by GachaBrian to HenryStickmin [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 02:39 Temporary_Soft_2978 What's your daily schedule and routine look like?
Just thought I'd post an interesting question as I've never posted here before but I was wondering what everyone's daily routine looks like? From getting out of bed to sleep
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2021.10.21 02:39 WillowHaddock What do you think of my new outfit? Also love that I can now have as close as I'm gonna get to my irl cats in game :D
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2021.10.21 02:39 Fin_Lyfania Shout out to all the trans girls on here! (Trans) women are women!
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2021.10.21 02:39 borazan 🦑 Squid Token 🦑 # New Community Trust Based BSC Token!
For strong community, x100 for sure!
⌨️ Website: https://squidtokenbsc.com
Our token is abbreviated as SQT and resides on the Binance Smart Chain network. Its name is not derived from any serial show. We didn't want to go under a name like octopus because the competition could be great. However, the squid can always blind the octopus and get ahead of it. As a spiritual form, we must be able to reach everywhere like the tentacles of a squid, spread our community everywhere with our ink and win as one.👾 Tokenomiks:
# 5% tax
# 5% marketing
# 5% team
Our token, which is based on collective trust, collective effort and collective determination, was not issued on the basis of any game, TV show, movie or meme. It was created in the consciousness of the community with its structure based entirely on spiritual principles. As token creators and marketers for the community ourselves, we took the first load, leading the development of the community and taking on all the work that needed to be done for free and with a large workload. After that, we plan to develop our community with our hardworking and veteran members who can reach everywhere like tentacles.Remember, as the community grows, your investment grows, as your investment grows, new investors come, and they grow the community by adapting to the main idea. We want to make ATH with the tweets of thousands of people in our community, not with the tweet of 1 person
2021.10.21 02:39 JudgeGlum1843 Exway wave standby mode.
Hi. If you set the standby mode for 2 hours in the application and turn on the remote control a few days later, the board turns on. In other words, standby mode doesn't apply! Has anyone experienced the same thing as me?
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2021.10.21 02:39 Batman_72 Günaydın amına koyum
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2021.10.21 02:39 thuggahh About to watch the series finale
I can say that this is the greatest and most immersive story to ever be written, and the filming is amazing. Very sad it is ending but I am so happy I watched that amazing show that will never be topped. Please comment episodes i should rewatch to get the finale more because i will never watch it for the first time again
submitted by thuggahh to breakingbad [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 02:39 Wafl3 Trust Me on This
I recently graduated from Predad last week Monday. 100% ALWAYS go for the zip up full body onesies. When it’s time to wake up and change a diaper and your child insists on kicking and flailing around (which they will), the buttons become the worst thing ever. When you have a zipper, it’s simple, tuck in the legs and zip up. From here on out I will be avoiding button up onesies. This is for the ones with footies on them to be clear. That is all, stay safe out there Dads.
submitted by Wafl3 to predaddit [link] [comments]
2021.10.21 02:39 9DAN2 Thursday casual complaints department
The weekly rant thread. Come share what’s got you raging this week so far, wether it’s these tiny flies that just won’t go away, or the horrendous traffic which has come from nowhere.
I was already fuming before 5am today walking down the stairs after my shower, felt something squishy between my toes. Turned the light on and it was a slug, the slimy little shit.
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2021.10.21 02:39 lexyizzyfan Am I an asshole for walking away from my best friend because she's friends with my ex boyfriend?
Just this year, I dated a guy who put me through horrible things. Basically an abusive relationship. He abused me both physically and mentally, and I felt really bad after all that. My best friend started to approach him. In my head, at the time, I didn't care about that. Until I started noticing the things he did to me. But at that point, they were literally best friends. So I couldn't say anything, but little by little I realized that she wasn't being the same with me anymore, and she was always going out to his parties and other friends' parties with him. I mentioned this to her and she said she couldn't do anything about it, after all, they're best friends already. But I still feel bad about everything, so because she's already different, I thought it best to back off. Am I an asshole for walking away from her?
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2021.10.21 02:39 ph1angeface Chopin - Forever
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